Taking & Giving – Modita van Zummeren

Taking and Giving…

Oft we have the feeling that something is missing in our life. From the perspective of family constellations it is important not to stay with the question of what is missing, but to see what we can give.

But it is a fact, that you only can give, if you first have taken. As a child the only thing you have to do is taking, taking everything your parents give to you. If you have decided at some point as a child not to take from your parents any more, then something in your life stops. Your life flow stops. Later in life you can still decide to take everything your parents have given you. Then you are full, and you are able to really give…

Bert Hellinger (founder of family constellations): “What is difficult and greatest is taking. People who cannot take have remained children, who thought that they could save the mother. They feel great and blissful then. But they don’t have anything to give. They don’t give as great people but as small people who repeat what they were not able to as a child. Everything that we have reached is only by taking, taking everything as it is given to us. We have to give then, to be able to take gain. Everything we give is only a passing on. This is only possible for us if we have taken. What we take doesn’t belong to us, we only pass it on. If the other takes it then, he or she is free, not bounded to us. We only have passed it on. The secret of being blissful is taking, taking, taking and then overflow…”

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